Monday, May 29, 2006

I want to swim away but don't know how

And I don't know what to say. But yet there is so very much that needs saying. I'd don't think I've had a weekend where I've felt so very conflicted. The convention was exactly what I needed. They are always like a shot in the arm of spiritual vitamins. And I've realized that there are somethings that I really need to work on. My relationship with the "Stallis" Elders is one thing. And the whole not throwing hard balls at Tim is another thing. And the Soft balls covered in poison ivy too. So the Convention was Great! I can't wait for the one in Poland. Sure I won't be able to understand a whole lot of it, but, well.... It's still going to be way cool. I'm open for suggestions for what to bring as gifts for all those polish people. Little things I think. Bookmarks? give me Ideas.
One of the other things that I learned over the weekend is how very far I've drifted from my friends. There is so much going on in their lives that I have no idea about. And it's very hard to be there for someone when well... you're not there. And I feel stupid... but I'm not going to go down that road. I don't know the details, I really don't want or need to. I do have an overwhelming feeling of failure though. I just must not have done a good enough teaching, or reaching the heart... but oh well. Spilled milk and all that jazz.
But on a better note, Look! a frog! We nearly stepped on him/her/it when we went hiking at Bong! (eh.. hu...hey Bevis... she said bong)

3 comments:

Dawn said...

Yeah no more WoW! Congrats. That's a hard thing to do. I'd love to go Aquabats, but we're going to the Hall Remodel in Watertown. :( But I'll be sure to listen to Chemical bomb when I get home!

abz said...

dawn dawn. the secret to not drifting is to MAKE time for ur friends, everyones busy. and as for the failure issue. no way. if thatz how u look at it, we all failed. u can't help someone if they don't wanna be helped...or just live a whole big lie trying to decieve and fool everyone with cunning evilness!!!!!....wow, we should hang out and chat, the conv wasn't the best spot for chatting, too many interruptions

Flumper said...

Wow i think thats like the coolest looking real frog ever! thats just as cool as those ones at the zoo only its a real live in the woods frog!!! i'm so jealous i want to find one like that!